I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane

May 26, 2011
There is a song called I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane by Chantal Kreviazuk and a few of the lines really describe how I've been feeling lately.  No matter how many times I listen to this song it pulls at my heart every time:
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
Already I'm so lonesome I could die
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
Now the time has come to leave you
Dream about the days to come
Obviously this isn't the whole song but these few lines really pertain to my experience here in Ukraine.  Of course I am excited to go home and be with my family and friends again.  But I am so sad to leave this place. Change is a strange thing to cope with.  I was finally starting to feel comfortable with my host family and my schedule and now I have to pack my bags and head home. I have been here for almost 5 months.  It has been my home.  Now I'm packing my bags and I don't know what to feel.  A part of me wants to be excited, but another side of me is screaming at me saying why on earth are you leaving this place?  Going home I will have to find a job, figure out college plans and get back into the swing of things.  I have been so care free for these past few months.  Coming to Ukraine has been an experience I will cherish for the rest of my life.  I will never forget all the life lessons I have learned here, the friends I have made, or the places I have traveled to.  Ukraine has taught me that you do not need much to be happy.  The people here do not have very much but they make the most of what they do have.  They are so giving and so humble.  Being away from home has really taught me to appreciate the simple things in life, things I hope I never take for granted again.  Most of all it has made me realize how much I love the examples my parents have set for me.  They truly are shining beacons in my life, without them I would not be the person I am today.  They set the way and I will be forever grateful for that.  I hope one day I can be as good as parent to my kids as they are to me.  I also have learned that now is the time, you don't know what tomorrow will bring so you might as well make the most of today.  I am so lucky with my family, they are so good to me! Thank you to all of my siblings, brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, and extended family for all of your support.  Your letters and emails have made all the difference. Time is quickly coming to a close, people are starting to say goodbye and whether I'm ready or not my plane heads home to America on June 1st.  
To sum up my feelings Kaitlin said it perfect:
I am leaving:
Ukraine in less than a week
All the adorable kids who won't remember me a year from now, yet I'll remember them for the rest of my life.
My dear sweet babushka
Teaching companions 
Native friends and coordinators
The most fantastic host family in all of Ukraine
What? Am I really leaving this place that I have lived for 139 days and learned to call home?
I am kind of freaking out.
Just a teeny tiny bit. 
I am excited/nervous/sad/scared/anxious/lost/overwhelmed (yes you can feel that all at once)  
Only a few more days here and I hope I can make the most of every moment.  

How do I adjust to real life again?  It has been 139 days since I left my home in Boise and headed to Ukraine.  I had no idea what to expect and things have been more amazing than I could ever hope for. Soon I will have to say goodbye to this beautiful place. I won't get up each day to my babushkas voice telling me its time for breakfast, I won't have to travel 40 minutes to my school, I won't take buses and metros to get everywhere, I won't be with the wonderful girls I have come so close to, I won't be able to teach the kids I have fallen in love with, I won't be with my host family anymore and I don't know when or if I will ever be back.  Frodo said it best "How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back.  There are some things that time cannot mend, some hurts that go to deep that have taken hold." My Ukrainian adventure is fast coming to close.  I have cried, laughed, learned, taught, danced, traveled, and experienced so much! Thank you ILP for giving me the opportunity to learn and grow so much.  I will remember this experience for the rest of my life and cherish it always.