Arachnophobia

April 9, 2011
Today marks a very big day in my life.  I was sitting at home watching a video on my laptop when out of the corner of my eye I saw something scurry by on the floor.  It was a spider. My heart immediately started to pound.  I tried to just push it out of my mind and continue watching my show but then I started thinking 'if I don't get it now it could crawl on me during the night!' The spider was about 5 feet away from where I was sitting. I wanted to run out of my room for a few minutes and just wait for it to leave but I knew if I did that I would never get any sleep for fear of seeing it later.  I slowly stood up and grabbed my slipper and started inching toward the spider.  It of course just sat still and watched my every move.  I lifted the  slipper above my head and tried to get my arm to swing down to smash the spider but I couldn't get myself to do it! I was having an inner battle with myself.  If I were back home my fearless parents would save me from this horrid situation but I'm not at home and I didn't want to risk asking my host parents to help me in the fear that the spider would scurry away. I began to laugh at myself, "just do it!" I decided I should have a bigger shoe to kill the spider so I grabbed my tennis shoe and inched closer to the spider. Still it did not move a muscle.  I gathered all my energy and swung my arm as hard as I could at the spider.  The shoe hit the spider but it wasn't dead yet it needed another smack.  I summoned up one more swing and was able to kill the spider.  I quickly moved away from it, grabbed some toilet paper and threw it down the toilet! My heart was still racing and my hands were shaking and my mind was racing. I just killed my very first spider! This momentous occasion doesn't really change much of how I react to spiders. I am still just as terrified as ever maybe even a little bit more.  But at least I know that if I summon the courage I can kill it! =)